Aunt Beru and the Blue Leader

For years now, there's this little baby bottle of 'island blue' sweet-and-sour "Pucker" schnapps that's been taking up space in the official JSH secret cocktail lounge.

How did it get there? I have no idea. Certainly isn't something I'd choose to part with coin for, myself. As Colleen Graham astutely observed in a review of it: "there was not one mix I tried where Island Blue Pucker didn't completely destroy the drink. Even a dash did some otherwise good cocktails in."

It must have been imported by a guest and left behind, at some sort of evening of debauchery whose details are likely best kept buried in the archives of the mind. So, the other night I decided to clean out the bar and get rid of that silly little bottle of dreadful drink. And what better way to accomplish that task than to mix it up for some Ouzo shooters?

Since it isn't likely that the mating of Island Blue Pucker and Ouzo has been consummated previously on this planet, we consider this another big win - however pyrrhic - for our side. And it actually tastes pretty good, surprisingly enough.


What to call it? Victoria, faithful Jedi that she is, promptly suggested two names, both of which just happen to be Star Wars-themed: Blue Leader and Aunt Beru. (Luke's Aunt Beru, as you may recall, is briefly seen filling a pitcher of some sort of blue milky substance.)

So it is, with the powers invested in me as the Mayor of Pulcova, I hereby decree an Aunt Beru to be the name for the mix in shot form, while it's designated a Blue Leader when enjoyed in a martini glass.


It's 2 parts Ouzo, one part Pucker. Shaken on ice, which gives it that lovely magickal louche, also known as The Ouzo Effect (which would make a great band name) and Ostwald Ripening (not so much).

Don't make the same mistake I did and consume large quantities of Ouzo when you have to get up at 6am the next morning. Ouzo can be a very mind-altering beverage - especially a bottle that's aged, as mine is. I tossed and turned in bed having crazy fevered dreams all night. But that's life in the Blue Leader's Squadron.

Orange Jicama Cocktail

I've always wanted to make a jicama martini or a jicama cocktail, and finally I've done so. Another victory for our intrepid team of researchers at the Creeps Science Department.

Jicama has a slight bland funk to it, one that doesn't matter so much when you eat it raw but it sure as heck stands out when you're drinking the juice. The original plan had been to make it a vodka-based martini, but instead I opted to fight funk with funk. Rather than trying to mask the odd vegetable whang of jicama, I threw something equally pungent at it: Cachaca.

And not just any Cachaca, but Ypioca Gold, the granddaddy of all powerfully senses-reshuffling mega-fermented Brazilian golden goodness.

So what's the recipe? The envelope, please:

3 parts freshly juiced jicama
1 part cachaca
1 part Cointreau
1 tbsp sugar

Shake well. Garnish with orange slice if you got one (I didn't).



This "wild root cream oil" kinda bev'age obviously isn't for everyone. Me, I'm fine with it minus the Cointreau, but I think the average palate would take to it a little better with that orangey touch. You may be just fine using Grandma but I'm a snob and must have my Cointreau. (I haven't tried Mandarine Napoléon yet but it's on my to-drink list.)


Wasn't inclined to give this'n a clever name - the "Orange Jicama" suits me fine. I think the turnip-like rooty-grassy zing of jicama might be even better paired with the smooth and cucumberly Hendrick's Gin, and experiments in the "Hendrick's Jicama" are forthcoming. I might also attempt a theoretical drink called a "Hillbilly Jicama", with bourbon or Southern Comfort as the kicker.

Bacon-Infused Old Fashioned

While surfing the web for maple-powered bourbon cocktails similar to The Veranda, I came across a recipe on nymag.com for an Old Fashioned that uses maple syrup and bacon-infused bourbon:

2 ounces bacon-infused bourbon
1/4 ounce Grade B maple syrup
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Twist of orange

For tips on how to make your own bacon-infused bourbon, read the full article at nymag.com or also peruse Brendan & Wayland's attempts at bacon-infused vodka.

View the video of PDT's Don Lee making a Bacon Old Fashioned here!

The Veranda Cocktail

Something I whipped up tonight in the Appalachian Voodoo Research Kitchens, and I call it a "Veranda".

The secret formula is as follows:

1 oz Bourbon
0.5 oz Maple Syrup
1 oz Bärenjäger
0.5 oz apple cider

Shake well.

I garnished it with apple here strictly for visual effect, but actually, if I were to serve this in a bar, I would probably cut a smaller segment, skewer it, and let it repose in the drink. Apples begin to oxidize the moment you cut into them, and would almost certainly turn an unsightly color before the customer has finished drinking it.

A variation I could foresee would be getting cinnamon into the mix somewhere, and there's probably already a recipe out there like this with Southern Comfort in place of the Bärenjäger.

If one didn't have Bärenjäger handy, you can always make it yourself by infusing pure-grain with honey.

Lychee Martini

You can learn more than you probably ever wanted to know about the Lychee Martini by clicking here on lycheesonline.com, but here's my personal recipe straight from the JSH files:

■ 2 oz Vodka
■ 1 tsp Lime juice
■ 2 oz Lychee nectar
■ 1 tsp Cointreau

Shake gently. Garnish with one or two lychees on a skewer.

I've also heard of some people adding a little Sake to the mix, but haven't tried that myself - I must admit I am intrigued.

I first had a Lychee Martini at the great Basa Modern Vietnamese restaurant here in L-ville.

The White Blizzard

From Martini Art:

Ingredients:

•4 ounces of Absolut Vanil vodka
•1 ounce of clear Creme de Cacao
•2 ounce of Godet White Chocolate liqueur
•1 teaspoon of coconut flakes
•2 freezing martini glasses

The mix:

•Add the vodka to a shaker half full of cracked ice.
•Shake vigorously for a full minute.
•Add the white chocolate liqueur, and Creme de Cacao.
•Swirl the shaker for another full minute, and then let it rest for a minute.
•Strain your martini into the freezing martini glasses.
•Each glass gets half of the coconut flakes.
•Stir each martini gently to start the blizzard!

Me, I skipped the coconut flakes and used vanilla Three Olives instead.

Underberg

What the fuck is Underberg? I don't even know. It's German and it comes in a tiny bottle wrapped in old-looking brown paper. It tastes like crap, but powerful crap, in a good way, you know, like Jagermeister and Killepitsch.

They've been making the stuff since 1846 using a super secret process involving 43 exotic herbs and aging in barrels of Slovenian Oak. But when you've overindulged and have pushed way too much pasta down your pate, the stuff hits the spot like no Rolaids can. Like the package says, "it cannot be explained - it must be experienced." (It also says Underberg is "not a beverage".)

Did I mention it's 44 percent alcohol?